When I became a college student, there was one thing I always wanted to do – to join an orchestra. Having started playing the oboe in high school as part of the brass band, I had always dreamed of performing in an orchestra.
I joined the university orchestra as soon as I entered university, and I became so involved in music that my memories of the those years were almost entirely from orchestra. When I joined, the older students were as good as professionals, and one of them had been learning the oboe from a professional oboist since middle school and was very familiar with the world of the oboe. Even though I was just an amateur oboist, I sometimes felt as if I was allowed to enter the middle of the that world. There was always a gentleman who participated in these experiences that I felt unworthy of experiencing.
He had also been a student of the same professional oboist and probably invested all the money he was earning in oboe-related activities. He was a well-known figure in the oboe world at that time because of his wealth and enthusiasm. Several times a year, oboists in the university orchestra were invited to his house near the university to listen to music, have dinner, and talk about music together.
When I had become a regular member of the group and was quite familiar with the gentleman, we discussed the idea of going to Tokyo together for a visit. One of the older female members, the gentleman, and I were going to visit a music store and then have dinner at a restaurant in a hotel. The gentleman was going to give us a ride in his amazing car and take us to dinner at a hotel! I was incredibly excited and decided to go without a second thought.
On the day of the dinner, the other female member was going to join me later at the hotel, and I think that is why the gentleman and I went to the music shop together. At the music store, when I met a male music student who knew the gentleman, he snidely remarked that, “He always has a pretty girl with him, doesn’t he?” I still remember the look on his face.
I had an inkling why I had been chosen. I was embarrassed anyway that he could see right through the situation.
I no longer interacted with that gentleman once the older members graduated. I think what happened then was an important phase where I was able to objectively see my own appearance and behavior. I was a college student who had no idea what other people thought of me and was still living in a state of ignorance. It felt like cold water had been poured on me. I am still thankful for that cold water, and I remember those words with a sense of gratitude.